I need to get back on the blogging wagon -
Things have been really tough the past couple of months, and I need an outlet that isn't FB. I have been going through a phase where I don't know where I belong. It has been a long time since I felt a part of a community or even my family. This is a tough time of year for me, and I am experiencing the start of my PTSD flashbacks and triggers. It will be 4 years in August that my life was turned upside down. It breaks my heart to see my husband still struggle with his health and emotional pain.
We live in a time where there are not many support groups out there for caregivers in my situation. There are plenty of groups about caring for an aged parent, but not many for young adults. It is hard to accept that this is our new normal. When I look back at the early years of our marriage, the biggest decision was where to vacation, where to spend the holidays, and what car to buy. Our marriage has evolved over the past 4 years - things that used to bother us, make us laugh now. We cherish the "little things" that mean the most - walking to the end of the block, being able to walk and hold his hand, sharing a Dr. Pepper while going out for a drive, sitting on the porch watching the rain. I know it sounds stupid, but it is amazing.
I feel lost without many friends - we have lost most of our support system after getting kicked out of our church, and it is hard to get connected with anyone now. I have a few friends that are there for me, but not many that truly understand me. It is hard to talk to anyone without thinking that I am a burden. I am going to use this as an outlet for me -
Thanks for reading
